May 21, 2011
Gogito Ergo Sum? 0
For many years the experience of feelings have lost all sense of connection to a personal centre, to a me. They are truly not personal but merely movements of energy without any specific location, a dance of life. Lately the same seems to happen with thoughts. This is in a way more radical or maybe the identification with thoughts are stronger. After all I have been trained and formed in a school and society with an extreme emphasis on thinking and thoughts as a way to individual competition and success and I have always been good at that and rewarded for my sharp mind. I have also learned that there is a mechanism called the brain that is the origin of thoughts. Objectively that is, looking at the human life form from the outside and in. Subjectively is another matter, how existence is experiencing it self from the “inside”. Ultimately there are no such divisions or anything like a thought that is true but just for the fun of the play we could say that science deals with “understanding” and spirituality with “innerstanding”.
Anyhow, back to the existential experience of thoughts. Is there really a thinker in the head? No, to be honest I cant find any centre of thoughts, if a centre emerges it is more of a believe, a projection of location to the head. If I play with that it is possible to move the projected centre of thinking to a hand, the stomach, a foot, or even outside the body. The origin of thought, the thinker is clearly an idea that could be placed anywhere. Truth is more that thoughts, in the same way as feelings, are vibrations of energy emerging from and disappearing into nowhere, a dance of life. No centre, no thinker. This is easily observed and common knowledge among people who meditates but to take this to its utmost consequence is something else. Another observation in life lately is that it doesn’t matter really who is speaking a thought. It is like the thought was there in the room and it’s more a matter of chance who is speaking it. To totally abandon and let go of the idea of thinking as something personal is radical. It is an existential matter.
If there is nothing personal about thoughts, no thinker, no me having a thought.
Who would you be then?
