October 24, 2011
A Circle closing. 0
Where does it come from?
The insights, the feelings, the knowing?
I woke up this morning with a strange feeling after a dream.
I was asleep, but alert.
Needed some moments to summon before going to early morning meditation.
What I will write I’m not sure of yet, but it is about a past life and it is about this life.
Once I was so sure of this past life-thing. I have seen so many, I have a mind that easily goes back in time. Now I don’t know any longer what to believe. So I guess I’ll keep it open, and just register what is going on, feel the feelings in it rather than analyze too much.
Anyhow, I went to meditation with the dream of a little girl I had to protect from abuse in mind. I thought the meditation should be about this. And about the solar plexus, where there was so much tension yesterday. But no.
In seeing the following my body turned so warm, like it does when tension is released, and truth is revealed.
What happened was that I was once again returning to Egypt, back to an earlier life. I’ve seen this life before, where I was a high priestess in a Temple of Fertility. Now I saw the surroundings and the ceremony. The Temple was situated by the banks of the river Nile. Each year the river flows, and this was celebration time. My duty then was to dive into the River, and to return with the holy river water to the altar in the Temple. My body was dried, lightly dressed, and decorated with wonderful blue lines like waves, from hips and belly to the breast, circling. At the altar the fertilizing River and the life giving Sun, Ra, was praised. The high priest from the Ra Temple worshipped the priestess’ goddess body as the ground of fertility. I represented the Earth and the Water. He, the Sun. I felt the Earth inside. I felt the water and the sun melting. It was a sacred marriage of energies. After this the ceremony continued with the other priestesses and men from the society inside the Temple.
Somehow I felt a circle closing between that time and today. Smiling as I remember, me as a teenager ; I was very interested in Egyptology. At my first masquerade I came dressed as an Egyptian Queen!
Today my life turns pretty much around Tantric living and being. About being in life from my heart. It is about the life force and the sexuality. It is about making this natural and tear away fear and useless and damaging moral, and labels created by mind. It is about being alive. I long so much for the deepest connection with Mother Earth, and the Earth in me. My heart weeps over all the exploitation, the profit making, the alienating from our nature both inside and outside, the alienating from Gaia, our Mother Planet. I long for the feelings of a Sacred Earth to arise in the human race once again.
this is my prayer.
may it come true.
-m
